Engineering optimal sexual relationships Understanding sexual relationships as trade

Heretical and unromantic as this may sound, sexual relationships are best understood as trade. All sexual qualities of a person are merchandise. The sexual qualities of beauty in women, or attractiveness in men, and youth in either sex are trade values, and thus properly defined as merchandise. Just like sexual or romantic services, even looks and freshness are exchanged. They may be exchanged for similar qualities in a sexual partner, or for emotional commitment, or for the social qualities of protection and status, or economic benefits.

This analysis doesn’t advocate that all women just be prostitutes. Indiscriminate sexual contacts lower the trade value of female sexuality, and usually, females with a history of selling their sexuality cheaply have a harder time going for a big deal, such as a marriage to a rich man.

2 Sexual market value

and sexual competition

When more people realize that optimal sex, followed by a comfortable death, are the only meaningful content in life, sexual competition becomes more pronounced.

For both men and women, the likelihood of sexual success depends on two factors: their capability to compete (their smartness), and their sexual market value.

In a free market economy for sexual partners, the smartest men with a high sexual market value appropriate the largest number of, and the best, female sexual partners.

The best men are always a minority; this lies in the nature of the word. The best men are always faced with the fact, that the vast majority of people (the rest) are envious and would like to introduce rules that assure that they also get what they believe should be their fair share (one man for every woman, one woman for every man). Rules are introduced in the form of religions and social orders.

3 Sexual market value

and sexual selection

If we want to understand human behavior, and human opinions on many different topics, it is important to look at how behaviors and opinions affect the sexual market value of a person. This explains a lot of apparently altruistic and irrational behavior, especially in younger people.

Male teenagers may engage in extremely dangerous motorcycle races, and pretend that speed thrills, but in reality it is about impressing girls.

In wars, young men may be willing to die as heroes, if only to posthumously have a high sexual market value.

For females, it is the same. Women may force themselves into model roles that are contrary to their biological needs if they think it enhances their sexual eligibility.

Some people want to reap benefit from a high sexual market value. They indeed want to engage in sex. But for others, sex can become a theoretical quantity. If they believe that remaining virgins all life gives them the highest sexual market value, then they may just opt for this.

Noting the above-cited anachronisms isn't entirely new. Even Darwin had a hard time with phenomena like the beauty of male peacocks.

He explained it as sexual selection as an adjunct to natural selection.

But evolution, including the evolution of human behavior, has never been as logical as natural selection. Oftentimes, it looks more like accidental selection. And the results of accidential selection, in conjunction with sexual selection, prevail for a certain period of time, until something kills them off. From a distance, natural selection seems linear. But for organisms as complex as animals, the shorter the observed time span, the more one sees irrational sexual selection at work.

4 Aspects of sexual market value

Sexual market value is the perceived quality of a person as sex partner. Sexual market value is not just. Some people are born with better looks and other qualities that give them a high value. Sexual market value is also not politically correct. Sometimes it is even racist.

Some sexual market value preferences are similar across cultures, and have persisted through history. It can be assumed that they are partially encoded in genes.

This doesn’t mean that genes determine sexual choice. Genes only provide a skeleton, and culture, economics, and even accidental events modify preferences.

Many of the qualities of a high sexual market value are physical. A charming personality is another quality.

And then, there are youth and sexual freshness, and this is were political correctness certainly ends. To many men, women around the onset of their reproductive age appear sexually more desirable. In practically every culture, females with little prior sexual experience have a higher sexual market value than those with a lot of experience, and it is not unheard of, to say the least, that men of all ages seek virgins. Virginity beats youth, which is why teenage prostitutes typically rank much lower than what could be the case, given their age.

Not only men seek youth. Older women with a preference for boys are less visible only because this is heavily stigmatized in many traditional cultures. And in more modern cultures, it is not thematized because it’s not politically incorrect.

Sexual preferences certainly are partially encoded in genes, and there is a good degree of conformity across the human species. It costs men a lot of effort to unlearn, for the sake of political correctness, their preferences for young, sexually fresh sexual partners.


Alternatively, men may find it easier to lie. They keep their real sexual preferences for themselves, and publicly pretend that their preferences are in line with what is politically correct.

Sexual market value, and each person’s quality rating as potential sex partner doesn’t only relate to attractiveness, youth, and sexual freshness. For males, more so than for females, other aspects come into play, such as appearing protective, or being capable to lead.

Many women historically had preferences for men of power and wealth, even if these men weren’t the physique a female would fantasize about in erotic dreams.

Aspects of ethnicity, cast, religious affiliation played and play a role in partner allocation. Many of these aspects are irrational and repressive, and they don’t match modes of production that include easy access to knowledge.

Economic imbalances are rational factors that affect sexual market value.

But who ends up with whom in sexual relationships does not only depend on sexual market value. It depends on what people do out of their sexual market value. Or, in simple English. It depends on smartness.

6 The sexual-market-value dilemma

In rich Western societies, the decline of the sexual market value of men and women who get older is a dilemma.

People who get older naturally long for a society in which this is not a handicap. The concern is reflected in sex-negative feminism, which can be understood as trade unionism of less competitive women who aim to protect their sexual market value.

The desire to redefine social hierarchies of attractiveness also drives Salafist movements. Male children of Muslim immigrants in Europe sense their placement on the low end of the attractiveness scale, as even their sisters dream of princes that are firmly rooted in Western culture.

Social climbing is only a temporary solution, for male children of Muslim immigrants, and for anybody getting older.

A more profound solution, in the case of ageism, are societies in which age is a minor factor.

Poor but tolerant societies, for example. As long as there is a dire need for economic support within families, the age-related unattractiveness of support-givers wanes as a factor determining sexual market value.

Thus, whether male or female, there is a rationale to get out of rich Western societies, and be rich in a Third World country.

For males, societies with irrational metaphysical foundations, such as religions, offer a possibility to be attractive mates in spite of advancing age.

In societies with archaic religious structures, sexual market value depends on many factors other than the physical attractiveness or the age of a man.


Aging women, on the other hand, have good reason for not being comfortable with such archaic structures. For aging women, extreme feminism and legal constraints on opportunity-seeking men are viable strategies to protect their own sexual market value in spite of advancing age.

8 Sexual market value and

female solidarity

Modern societies are much more sexualized then traditional societies ever were. In traditional societies, average people, after just a few years of sexual prime, were preoccupied with unromantic problems such as managing their livelihood, and their health problems.

In modern societies, people are sexual up to an advanced age. This poses a dilemma to women, as even under favorable circumstances, women cannot preserve their sexual market value as well as men. As this affects all women, it is not surprising that they form solidarity organizations, trying to force measures of which they assume that they will guard their sexual interests.

9 Sexual market value in Asia

More than in Europe or North America, sexual market value in Asia depends on factors other than beauty in females and age in males.

For females, a major aspect is sexual freshness. Throughout Asia, the highest sexual market value is attached to virgins from age 15, who are living with their parents and so far have only gone to school. In Middle Eastern and South Asian societies, their sexual market value is so high that they are available only for marriage. In East Asian societies with free systems of sexual economics, the capability for considerable material and financial support is most important.

As girls grow older, their sexual market value declines, even if they keep on staying with their parents (and remain virgins).

But in comparison to 18-year olds who go to school and live with their parents, 18-year olds who no longer go to school, but work, or those who live in apartments in big cities, whether they work or go to school, have a lower sexual market value, as their sexual freshness is questionable.

There is a very definite decline in the sexual market value of women who have been married and now are divorced or separated. And there again is a definite decline when they have given birth.

But among these, those who have work and an orderly income are still regarded higher than those who have no job, and whose only choice is to rely on finding a man for economic support.

Obviously, younger prostitutes get more customers, and ask for higher prices, but prostitutes are prostitutes, and even just as girlfriends (not talking about wives), their sexual market value is at the bottom of the scale.

In Western societies, especially in Europe, the sexual market value of women is less hierarchical.


In Europe a beautiful face and a good figure go a long way. The age of a woman plays less a role, and as long as she doesn’t have an infectious disease from it, it matters less how promiscuous she has been.

In Europe, male preference for substantially younger women is politically not correct. It even appears creepy. Men keep preferences for substantially younger females to themselves, or completely self-censor them.

Europeans typically think that in an ideal match, the woman is some two to five years younger than the man. This means that even women in their forties can still expect a sexual partnership if they aim at men in their fifties, and they could even end up with a reasonably wealthy one.

In Asia, rich men in their fifties seldom marry women in their forties. Rich Asian men in their fifties will rather marry women in their twenties.

For in Asia, the sexual market value of men often is determined mostly by his economic status. For this reason alone, older European men will always find their sexual market value increased if they move to Asia, while older Asian women always experience an increase in sexual market value when they move to a Western country.

Divorced Asian women in their forties, when they stay in Asia, have either made their luck previously and then can be with a man who values the opportunity to marry a rich woman, or they will have to be content with a low-class male, or they stay unattached.

In a number of Asian countries with comparatively high divorce rates, Western men have a very easy time making live-in arrangements with divorced, widowed, or separated local women.

Western men in relationships with local women in East Asia often have the wrong impression that it is accidental that their women have been in previous marriages, and they think that in principle, they could have found single women, too. But they are wrong: in countries, where they can easily find a divorcee, they would have a very hard time, indeed, to qualify for a previously unmarried woman.

11 Female sexual market

value in East Asia

In China, the sexual market value of a 30-year-old divorced woman with child is much lower than the sexual market value of a 30-year-old woman who has never been married, even if the divorced woman is more beautiful. In Western Europe, there would only be a slight difference, and if the divorced woman is more beautiful, then her sexual market value will be higher than that of the never-married woman.

Therefore, for a divorced woman in China, the most important decision may well be to seek a new partner, or husband, from Western Europe, not from China.

In Indonesia and the Philippines, the sexual market value of women with a rather dark complexion is considerably lower than that of women with a light teint. But in Western Europe, men would admire the beautiful skin color of the darker woman, while not being attracted to the woman with the lighter skin color.

12 Preserving the trade

value of female sexuality

There is a fundamental difference in the sexual market value of men and women. In most cultures, the sexual market value of men determines how successfully men can offer themselves to obtain sex and love. The sexual market value of women, on the other hand, determines, in most cultures, how successfully women can offer themselves to not just obtain sex and love, but also economic and social resources .

Thus, preserving sexual market value is more crucial to women than it is to men, and because the market value of female sexuality clearly declines as women age, women have always been more concerned than men with preserving it. Which is why there is more cosmetic industry for women than men, and more fashion, and more dieting.

There are also political agendas that aim to make the world a better place for females who have declined in sexual market value, or who have never had much of it.

Convinced followers of such agendas include aging ex-wives who have been divorced by their husbands who developed a preference for a younger female. How unfair!

Or less attractive females who have been promised lifelong bliss by a man but then were abandoned after about a month of sexual consummation. How unfair!

Such agendas degenerate into hate feminism when all moral high-ground is abandoned and it is more or less openly admitted that the aim is revenge against men, all men.

Women of a high sexual market value never were the disadvantaged sex, and as long as they had a high sexual market value, never needed female solidarity (youtube video see here).


But maybe new technologies of maintaining a youthful appearance that can preserve the sexual market value of aging women will make political programs of anti-male female solidarity obsolete.

Mankind is on the brink of modes of production that allow women to look much younger until well after menopause.

Many of the technologies are simple, and many of them have been around for a number of years. However, the impact they have on human, especially female, perception of reality is delayed.

Sexual attractiveness, of course, depends mostly on a person’s face. More than 90 percent of all the negative effects of aging on the face can be controlled by the following measures: Botox treatment from the early 20s onward, facelifts, and sun avoidance. Among creams, some sun protection is all that is needed.

Combined with good dentistry, the treatment of visible skin veines, and non-aggressive cleansing, the preservation of a youthful face will work even better.

To maintain a youthful figure, females who can afford it should avoid own pregnancies. They do enormous harm to female beauty and female sexual market value. The right of couples, married or not, to contract surrogate mothers, is advantageous to rich and poor women.

Age identification is age discrimination. It works strongly against the sexual market value of females beyond a certain age, even if that age is not visible in a female’s face or on a female’s body.

Just as the omission of race specifications in passports has helped against race discrimination, the omission of age specifications in all personal documents reduces age discrimination. Once a person has reached legal age, this shall be noted (undated) in personal identification papers. Beyond that, governments and other administrative units, and just about everybody else, do not need to know anything about a person’s age. Citizen identification can easily be achieved through genetic markers.

14 Sex tourism and

sexual economics

Sex tourism is a natural phenomenon. If striving for sexual satisfaction is the primary motivator in people’s lives, then men go where they have the best success.

If the chances are slim in Europe or the US, or if success requires great effort, men move to more favorable grounds.

North American and European men enter sexual relationships easily in South America, in many countries in Asia, and in Africa. While this is sex tourism, it is not necessarily prostitution tourism. It may even be marriage tourism.

This can be regulated, but not rooted out.

Sexual economics perfectly accounts for the fact that as long as in Third World countries, the sexual interests of North American and European men are a perfect match for the economic interests of local women, sex tourism will go on.

Sexual economics also predicts that people have opinions that are in accordance with their sexual interests. But interests are often hidden behind a moral facade.

It doesn’t matter that often, people are not even aware that they pursue certain agendas because they match their interests, and instead believe that they do it out of virtue. To behave in accordance to one’s sexual interests does not require awareness of one’s sexual interests.

If we look at sex tourism from the perspective of sexual economics, we will see that the ideological positions taken by each and every social group are in tune with their interests.


Western male sex tourists usually find nothing wrong with sex tourism, or at least they claim that what is wrong is none of their business. In Third World countries, they frequent cheap local prostitutes, marry attractive local women, and play around in other modes.

Young local women who derive material benefit from the sex tourists also find nothing wrong with it. They need the source of income for themselves, and for their families.

Now for those who oppose sex tourism, often claiming moral concerns.

The women in the countries from where male sex tourists hail are usually strongly against sex tourism. No wonder. Their sexual interest is that “their” men stay at home and compete for the females of their own societies, and do not go abroad for easier, younger, and more attractive women. They have reason to be jealous. The women sought by male sex tourists in Third World countries are their immediate competitors.

They may love their men, and hate their female competitors, but this will not be the issue they publicly address. Publicly, they deplore the exploitive character of the relationships of Western sex tourists in Third World countries. When sex tourism issues are discussed anywhere in the world, it is easy to know ahead the opinions of representatives of Western womanhood. No sympathy with sex tourists!

And in order to provide substance to their cause, they will lobby Third World governments to implement laws pertaining to the sexual conduct of foreign men, or they will lobby their own government to outlaw, as far as possible, the sexual contact of their own country’s men with women in Third World countries.

The local men in Third World countries will be on the side of Western women. They are not happy with Western men who court successfully their girls and women. Western men are unwelcome competitors.


It is no surprise that young women in Third World countries dream of husbands from North America or Europe. They may even be able to migrate from the Third World to the Old World (Europe) or the New World (the Americas). A haven of social and financial security awaits them.

Local men in Third World countries can’t offer such prospects. Therefore, they oppose Western sex tourists and want girls who consort with them punished.

Older local women in Third World countries are also against Western men (at least those whose daughters aren’t about to marry Western men, thus providing an emigration route for the whole family). Older local women do not want younger local women have opportunities that were not available to them.

With predictable accuracy, all social strata propagate opinions that are in accordance with their sexual interests. People do not arrive at specific opinions out of moral considerations, or concerns of human rights.

The anti coalition, of course, is much stronger than the coalition of those who benefit from sex tourism. Therefore, conditions become worse for sex tourists anywhere in the world.

But enter war and destruction, terrorism and natural disasters, anything that erodes social order. Then there is a new playing ground for men from rich societies looking for sexual relationships in a newly or once again poor country.